Sorry
by natsuki chere
Summary: Gin's true intention for betraying Soul Society. Based on chapter 415.


Disclaimer: Bleach is not mine- obviously. =_="

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_On the day when I first met her, she was sleeping—or so I thought. _

I saw her lying on the ground, eyes closed, unmoving, scratches everywhere, and her facial expression…she was in pain.

I looked at a group of guys who was talking with a well-built guy besides her. Somehow, amidst the uncertainty of the situation, I knew the brunette shinigami was the leader; the mastermind behind the girl's mysterious fall. Then, suddenly, everything started to make sense. Her hougyoku—

I felt sick upon seeing the fake smile on the leader's face. I wanted to kill the man; I want to rip his throat. But what could I do? I didn't have the power to protect her. I was a defenseless boy. A boy without any power to defend myself, let alone trying to avenge her. Fighting him blindly would only lead me to my early grave. This guy was not as weak as he seemed. I could feel it. I need to find the right time to take this guy down. That was the thing I have to do. I vowed to protect her, no matter what; or how long would it take.

Even though it means I have to go against the world.

_The second time I met her, I found her on the ground—again. _

She was half-awake, too weak to move, and her battered body was covered in cold snow. Slowly, I approached her, hiding my true feeling and just like the bastard who did that to her, I gave her my fake smile; together with a food. She was too skinny, and I couldn't look at her without feeling uncomfortable. She barely noticed my existence and looked at me from the corner of her eyes until they closed once again.

Live was hell in Rukongai; the stronger shall live while the weaker shall die. And I didn't want her to die, so I gave her the only property that I owned. I took her to a place where I once used as my shelter.

And I left soon after I made sure that she's safe and sound.

But something about her hinders me from hiding for a long time. Unconsciously, I went to search for her every once in a while. It was nice to see her smile despite whatever cruel thing that bastard had done to her. She was always smiling when I visited her— until the day I first saw her cry.

And she always finds her own ways to surprise me. That was what I thought when I learned that she's one of the Soul Society's new and highly talented shinigamis. Maybe I shouldn't tell her about my plan to become a shinigami. I should have known that she would follow me.

I've been keeping a close investigation on Aizen…and I didn't like him at all. That bastard would do anything to gain power; _anything_, even if it means that he had to destroy Soul Society. And judging from the experiments that he was working on hougyoku, I knew he didn't care what would happen to people around him.

My fear was confirmed.

He tested his experiment on his own people. And those innocent people in Rukongai, innocent shinigamis…including those taichous and fuku-taichous— I was betraying my own comrades. It's a pity that Captain Uruhara became the scapegoat to cover that bastard's dirty secret. But who am I to say such a thing? I knew I was no better than Aizen, dirtying my own hands with the blood of my comrades…for _her_ sake.

_I met her again not long after she was officially on duty. _

She seemed happier now, considering the fact that she had more friends— better companions than me. She would no longer be a lonely girl I met hundred years ago. Her golden lock was as beautiful as I could remember. Though I desperately want to hold her, I couldn't. All I could do was to look at her from afar, making sure that Aizen didn't get his filthy hands on her again. It didn't matter to me if she hates me for that. I've said it before…I would protect her, even if it means that I have to go against the world.

When she was appointed to be the fuku-taichou for the tenth division with that small kid as her taichou, I couldn't be prouder. But that didn't mean I felt more comfortable. Her captain was a brilliant kid. I was worried that he might suspect Aizen's secret and dragged her into the mess. I couldn't take the risk. Let me be the villain in her eyes rather than seeing her broken like the first time I met her.

We rarely meet each other, unless there were meetings that required both taichous and fuku-taichous to be presence at the same time. When that orange-headed boy came to Soul Society, I began to feel a little uneasy. It went as he had planned; Aizen had planned it well. And soon, my fear became a reality. The little captain knew something was amiss, and he finally knew about Aizen. I tried not to kill another comrade. But based on the situation, I knew I had to. I had to kill them in order to gain Aizen's trust. I had to kill the girl who falls in love with that bastard— until _she_ stepped in the game. I even tried to kill _her_ in the process. I almost _killed_ Rangiku.

Starting that day, I've betrayed Rangiku. I've betrayed her trust.

We were cornered. But that didn't mean that we're outnumbered. I knew they couldn't stop us, especially when many of them were already injured from the previous battles. But I didn't expect her to be the who tried to arrest me. For the first time in hundred years, I could finally feel her touch; even though it's for a very wrong reason. Yet, I couldn't see into her eyes— not in a situation such as this. I knew it would her hurt more, but I needed to do this. I could only say…

"I'm sorry."

_After some times that felt like forever, I met her again—in a very unexpected place at a very wrong time. _

She shouldn't be here. In fact, she shouldn't move at all. She was already badly injured. Why did she come here when obviously she couldn't win against me— let alone facing Aizen? That bastard would surely kill her this time. His power was monstrous. I knew that I had to stop her before it's too late.

I took her away from that bastard fast enough so that she didn't have enough time to take out her katana. To be able to touch her again was a miracle. I was afraid that I couldn't feel that warm body against mine, especially after we're separated for so long. If only I could tell her just how much I wanted to hold her once again, telling her that I did everything for her sake.

I noticed the glimpse of the ring that she wore on her necklace. So she still kept the ring that I gave her, huh? Her body was trembling, and I knew she was struggling to stay awake. Then why did she come here for…?

"Isn't that obvious? Because you're here," she said.

And the words stung deeply into my heart. Trying to keep my voice as cool as usual, I called her beautiful name, and used my kido against her.

It's over now.

I finally got my revenge against him. I got his rougyoku, taking it away from him just like what he did to her. I could stop the façade and tell everything to her; to the soul society. It didn't matter if they would punish me later on, as long as I could take my revenge for her.

I was speechless.

I've never expected him to be _that_ strong. I didn't know he no longer needs hougyoku to survive. And the injuries that I've inflicted on him were nothing to him.

I knew I had lost the moment he touched his katana on me.

_Rangiku._

_I'm sorry… In the end I couldn't get back what was taken from you..._

_I knew it._

_I'm glad I said sorry…_

_-End-_

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_A/N: Please review!_  
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